Breathe

Ahh....it's nice to just sit down and exhale sometimes.

What a crazy few days it has been. And, of course, it happens when school is a bit crazy -- getting kids ready for their final speeches and trying to wrap things up before break. And, when we are already a bit behind on the Christmas shopping and preparations. Oh well...it will all get done sooner or later.

There's nothing more frustrating than the Mom Guilt and the feeling that I have to be two places at once -- at work and at home. Luckily Gma was available to watch Madeline during the day. But it's still frustrating feeling like I have to go to work when my lil pumpkin is sick and I'd rather stay home all day to snuggle her.

Then Madeline's fever blossomed into congestion and overall irritability on Tuesday. And Tuesday night the poo hit the fan. She was up all night. Literally ALL night. Not a wink of sleep. She did sleep a bit while sitting up with me in her rocking chair, but that meant no sleep for me. Darrin took several turns of snuggling, but I couldn't sleep. I had brief moments of panic when the memories of having a newborn came crashing down on me. The sleepless nights. The helpless feeling as I paced all around the house with a crying newborn. Only this time I had a screaming toddler who was exhausted but refused to sleep. And I'm 31 weeks pregnant. And the reality of having a newborn again is hitting home. Dear Lord, what have we done??? At one point, Madeline wasn't the only one crying. I broke down and joined her. Darrin had two sobbing ladies to deal with. By 4am, I gave in. We went downstairs to watch Snow White. At least she was quiet, we did some snuggling, and I got a bit of rest.

We made it through the night and to the doctor in the morning. All sounded good in the lungs. (Um....I knew that, Doctor. You should have heard her exercise her lungs last night.) Her ears were barely infected. And her throat was red. But thankfully they gave us the coveted antibiotics. Praise the Lord for amoxicillin!!! I'm not all that in to demanding antibiotics, but I'm in dire need of rest. So I was extremely thankful when the doctor thought the situation required some treatment.

Just two doses of amoxicillin seemed to do the trick. She slept last night. We got off to a rough start, but she finally did sleep. Granted, I was in her bed for part of the night, but at least we all got to sleep.

And she's napping right now. I was a bit frustrated when the nap didn't start off all that smoothly. Luckily some snuggling in her chair did the trick. After two minutes of humming Amazing Grace (our go-to song for soothing...I spent literally hours humming that when she was a newborn and as a toddler it still does the trick) she was conked out. I took advantage of the situation and enjoyed the snuggles for about twenty more minutes. Sometimes I could use that. The house is a mess, the presents are still unwrapped, the Christmas goodies have yet to be baked and the laundry overfloweth.

But, you know what, she's only going to be small for so long. I'll take all the snuggling I can get.